The Morning Schedule

It is not a good sign when you are totally pissed off within minutes of your feet hitting the ground, however this is a feeling that overtakes me nearly every morning of my existence now that I am the Mommy of a child in school. Here is a rundown of our morning beating schedule, umm, I mean morning schedule.

5:45 - I get up, plug in my rollers, put on make up, roll hair.
6:00 - First wake up call for Colby. Lamp by bed is turned on and a sweet "Time to get up Baby Boy," is whispered.
6:05 - I shake Colby and say louder, "Time to get up."
6:07 - The over head light goes on and I announce loudly, "Colby you have to get up and go to school now."
6:09 - I shake Colby a little harder and begin barking my orders of how he needs to get his butt out of bed.
6:11 - I meanly take his cover and pillows away from him and he starts crying that he "hates" school and wants to go back to sleep.
6:12 - I pick up the phone and make a "pretend" call to his teacher to tell her once again Colby had declared he hates school and isn't coming in.
6:13 - Colby flings himself from the bed crying and screaming that I "CAN NOT" tell his teacher that. He then settles back down and tries to sleep on the floor.
6:15 - I tell Jeremy to help before I kill them both.
6:16 - Jeremy whines and cries and groans.
6:17 - Jeremy is threatened with things he wouldn't dream of going without and he gets up and yells at Colby to "listen to your Momma boy and get up."
6:20 - Colby is crying, Jeremy is still half asleep, and the wrinkle in the middle of my forehead is getting deeper as I scowl at my "wonderful" family around the breakfast table.
6:21 - Arguments about what we can and can't have for breakfast begin (while I take my medicine and my shot secretly wishing I was shooting up with something besides blood thinner to make my morning feel better!)
6:25 - Breakfast of some sort is on the table and Colby lays his head on the table and declares he isn't eating. I walk to the counter and get the wooden spoon.
6:27 - After two bites Colby says he is done and if he eats anymore he will die. I hit the table with the wooden spoon.
6:29 - Colby is finished again and I only have to act like I am going to pick the wooden spoon up.
6:35 - Colby and I head to the bathroom to brush teeth, fix our hair (mine really because he has 47 cowlicks and has to keep a buzz cut) and to wash his face.
6:45 - We go to the living room and I hand Jeremy Colby's clothes for the day. I head off to get dressed and curse my closet because nothing will fit.
6:55 - I come in to the living room fully dressed and ready to roll. Colby is still in his underwear and his Daddy is an idiot. I snatch up Colby's clothes and dress him myself.
7:05 - Everyone is now dressed and I send Colby to use the bathroom. I check to make sure we all have everything we need for the day.
7:10 - We head out the door.

Anyone else have a crazy morning schedule??