Saturday, March 21, 2009

Sweeden's Satan

My mother in law has a very special talent. She is Satan. I don't mean she is mean and acts like Satan. I am actually quite convinced that she is the devil herself.

I think my first clue to this was when Jeremy and I got engaged many moons ago and she volunteered to buy him a truck if he wouldn't marry that "floozy." Or it could have been the Christmas when she passed out gifts to everyone but me and then said, "Money was tight this year so I just bought for people I liked."

Then again, maybe it was the time that she went into Higgs Diner and told all who would listen that I was cheating on Jeremy with a black man from WKU (this happily got her kicked out of the resturaunt!). Or maybe it was the time Jeremy and I had a big fight that she helped blow out of porportion and she came in my house while I was in church and moved all of his things out.

No, I've got it. It was the time that she came to the hospital when Colby was still in the NICU and opened his incubator even though we were NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH HIM and TOOK HIM OUT!!! (This got her barred from the hospital).

Regardless of which moment over the past 13 years was the one that really made her true identity sink in, atleast I have complete certainty that I know I want to avoid Hell and the damnation of being stuck with her for all eterenity!

So today when my dear hubby could be hanging with me and Colby is up there cleaning up her yard. Yes it is a good deed, but I am resentlful that I am not getting his time. The only time she needs Jeremy is when one of her parade of skanky men is not present (She has been married 3 times and had 4 other live ins in the 13 years Jeremy and I have been together!)

To top it all off, Jeremy gave me a little well rehearsed speech about how much it would "mean to Mom" if I would come up and help. Darn the luck......Colby is not feeling well today and I need to be at home. Drats. I sure wanted to go help.........okay. No I didn't. I will not tell a lie. Remember - I am avoiding all sin and eternal damnation with her!!!

God help me!


Heather said...

Oh my!! Are you serious?! Bless your heart!

Nan said...

Well, I can see where your feelings are coming from! To take a baby from an incubator in the NICU!!! I guess since she doesn't hide her feelings about you, you are under NO obligation to do the same!

Wanda May said...

Oh my word, who is this woman, so I will know who I am up against!!!! I love ya Brooke, don't let her bother ya. (easier said than done)