Awkward Explainations

This afternoon during the brief period of sunshine we had I let my little man outside to play. We are the home where all the neighborhood kids hang out at so there is always a crowd around. I was in the back room putting some things away when I heard laughter outside. I smiled because I knew the kids were having fun..........then I heard.........."HA HA HA! They're stuck!"

This caused my eyebrows to raise so I went outside to see what was going on. There were about 10 kids ranging from innocent preschoolers to hormone driven teenagers in the back yard..............and there were two dogs............one boy.........one girl............and they were "stuck" together!

I try to keep my calm and not make ANY facial changes to alarm the kids that this was wrong or funny (so hard for me to do!) and I grabbed the water hose. I sprayed.........and I sprayed.............and I sprayed............nothing.

By this time the neighborhood pervert is on his porch laughing loudly and yelling suggestions my way, the kids have figured out that this isn't something that I think they need to see which makes them stare even harder, and I have said some choice words to the dog that little ears don't need to hear.

I headed into the house, grabbed the cold water jug from the fridge and doused the dogs. Finally they were unstuck. Problem solved.............yeah right.

The teenagers are cracking up, the preteens are figuring it out, then my son says, "Gross! His tooter was stuck to her!" (Please note......we call penises tooters around here!) I didn't know what else to do. I picked up the water hose and doused the 10 giggling kids and went back into the house.........I dare ANY of them to speak of it again!!!

Ah, the joys of motherhood!!!